Isaac Sambata

There is nothing important than health. That is what people say. I sometimes hear that but it doesn't really make sense for me. It is because think that I am healthy. However, it is getting important for me when I know that there is something wrong with my body, my health.

Blood donation, is one thing that I always wanna do when I heard from others that it may increase your weight. Not only that, people also said that it can make you healthy because when you donate your blood, your body will produce new blood. New one is better than old one right?. However, living in a remote area makes it difficult for me to do it, that is why, when I come to Malang, I am enthusiastic to donate my blood in every three months and every event.

I did my first blood donation beside my dormitory. There is a health clinic there called "Rumah Sehat" which held this. My first and second blood donation ran well till my third blood donation. My third blood donation was the beginning of my fear. At that time, the officer of the Indonesian Red Cross Society (PMI) did not explained what happen to me. He only said that I could not donate my blood because there was something wrong with it. He asked me to come to their office for more information. I was so shock at that time and there was something like terror in my mind. My brain works automatically and provides me with imagination of scary disease. "HIV" was the first thing that I imagine. My brain showed me slides that indicate something which relate to the cause of HIV infection, any bad thing that I did in my life. Frustrated, fearfulness, regret were my feeling till I decided to go to PMI office on the following day

Actually, there are so many moments in my life where I feel so scared. I am afraid of knowing that one of my family is sick, I am afraid of not meeting those I love before God calls them, I am afraid of getting an accident on my motorcycle, etc. At that time, I’ve just realize that I am afraid of waiting for someone telling me that I have got a killer in my body, yeah a silent killer disease.

April 17, 2013. I meet the doctor at the PMI office who told me that there is a kind virus in my blood. When he told me that, my heart beat so fast. HIV and AIDS are the words that came in my mind. I was asking him what the matter was. He told me a kind of sickness that I don’t understand. I am thankful because it was not HIV AIDS.

The time is running and I now that I will carry this sickness in my lifetime. I searched for information on the internet about my sickness and it told me that it can be healed but the possibility is very few. In my young age with this kind of sickness, what I can do?

I am thankful, that I belong to Jesus. I know that everything is possible in Him. However, it is not easy to convince myself. I am thankful that I am in a community. They support me so much to be stronger. It was not a usual community. It is a special community. And I love them.